Tuesday, June 4, 2013

A Realization

**FOR MORE WAYS TO HELP GO TO Here To Serve AND CLICK ON THE PARTICIPATE/VOLUNTEER BUTTON TO LOGIN TO HAZEL'S CARE COMMUNITY**

    As I sit here in the hospital as my little Hazelnut is asleep and awaiting the first night of her 3rd round of Chemo (it should start in about half an hour), I am reminded of a realization I came to earlier this week.  It has to do with the guilt, as a mother, I have felt over the last several years.  Mostly this has stemmed from social media allowing me to constantly compare myself with other mothers out there (Pinterest, I'm looking at you!); and if you are a mother, you probably know what I am talking about.  I see these crafty, creative, organized, calm, thoughtful and poised women who all also just happen to be able to cook amazing meals ever night; and I feel like I just don't measure up!  I am not this type of woman.  I may have some slivers of these qualities, but this is not the kind of mother I was built to be.  This feeling of perpetual inadequacy is something I have battled with tremendously and a quote by Theodore Roosevelt continues to really resonate with me: He said,  "Comparison is the thief of joy".  
     However, this past week, I felt God just wash this peace over me and He drew me to the aforementioned realization, which is this: I was made specifically by Him, and He made me in such a way to be a very specific kind of mother.  I truly believe He did not make me the crafty, creative mother; but orchestrated my life in such a way that I would be molded into the mother who could handle the trial that I am in now.  He knit me together with this journey in mind, and has given me the unique qualities (which have been molded through my life experiences) that have equipped me for this moment in time.  I no longer care about being the mother I was not made to be and am extremely thankful that He made me the mother that I AM!  
     As I finish this post, the nurses are walking in with the Chemo and are ready to administer, so please keep my daughter in your prayers this week!  I will keep you updated on how everything goes!


**FOR MORE WAYS TO HELP GO TO Here To Serve AND CLICK ON THE PARTICIPATE/VOLUNTEER BUTTON TO LOGIN TO HAZEL'S CARE COMMUNITY**

11 comments:

  1. Dear Lauren, I want to remind of something I told you when Micah and Elizabeth were small. Micah had been having a meltdown. You had taken him aside and you were talking to him softly. I happened to walk into the room where you were. I remember how impressed I was at the way you were handling the situation. You were so young with two small children. You spoke to Micah with such calm maturity. Don't ever doubt what a wonderful Mother you are and how lucky Micah, Elizabeth, Hazel and Jonah are to have you. Being crafty and organized is not as important as the patient love that you give your children. Grandma Marci

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    1. Thank you Grandma, that truly means a lot to me!

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  2. Hi lauren I have been following Hazel's journey and i always feel uncapable of properly expresing how your families journey has really opened my eyes and apreciate everyday with my kids, husband and family. As I read your post tonight I can totally realate I always admire other women for their multi talents and amaizing ways and be little myself because of my lack of but I have slowly realized that I should learn from those I aspire to be like and I can honestly tell u that from reading your blog and slowly getting to know a bit about u I do know u are one of those women I wish to learn from u are a wonderful mom and a very strong individual and if I am ever faced with a difficult road wich involves one of my babies I wish I can face it with ur same strenght and courage. I will continue to prey for u and ur family

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    1. Thank you so much! That really touches my heart! How did you come to find my blog? Do we know mutual friends?

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  3. Hi lauren I have been following Hazel's journey and i always feel uncapable of properly expresing how your families journey has really opened my eyes and apreciate everyday with my kids, husband and family. As I read your post tonight I can totally realate I always admire other women for their multi talents and amaizing ways and be little myself because of my lack of but I have slowly realized that I should learn from those I aspire to be like and I can honestly tell u that from reading your blog and slowly getting to know a bit about u I do know u are one of those women I wish to learn from u are a wonderful mom and a very strong individual and if I am ever faced with a difficult road wich involves one of my babies I wish I can face it with ur same strenght and courage. I will continue to prey for u and ur family

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  4. A photo says so much... this picture says to me that you are a strong and loving mother, facing this moment with courage and optimism. Your precious, innocent daughter is at peace in your arms, comforted by your presence and love. As you know, all of that is far more valuable than a perfectly crafted cupcake or organized closet.

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  5. I have come to the realization that you are the best kind of the mother to have. You are giving and teaching your kids love, compassion, and patience. That is so much better than anything that can be purchased or make. You will teach them to be the same kind of people and we need of more of those kind of people in the world. You are the best!!!!

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    1. Thank you so much Becky. This really means a lot to me!

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  6. Lauren,
    I know its been forever since I've seen or talked to you. Wow! You are incredibly strong for everything you are going through. I commend you for that! It's a quality many women wish they had as mothers :) I've been following along reading updates and its amazing how you are handling everything. I will continue to keep all of your family in my prayers! Stay strong, and keep being the positive, strong mom that you are!

    Elizabeth (McDonald) Kriske :)

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    1. Thanks Elizabeth! I have to say though, my strength is only because of God! I know I could not muster up the strength on my own, or even get out of bed in the morning! He has been working miracles for me!

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